[I think we should break up.]
Finally coming home to your dorm from class, and this was the one thing you get from your boyfriend as soon as you set foot in your room. You read the sentence at least 5 times to speed up the process of your mental and emotional reaction of what he just texted you before your fingers began to type as fast as they could.
[What?! But...but why?]
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. This is not worth sobbing over. It’s not worth the effort.
[Well, think about it. We don’t go to the same school, our schedules are all over the place, we rarely see each other now, and we don’t even talk anymore. It’s like we were never even dating...better yet, it was like we never met. And you made it rather apparent by going to school in Tokyo. Then again, our relationship would’ve ended like this either way if we went to the same school or not.]
How can he say these things so easily? Does he not understand how cruel he sounded? How emotionless his words felt? No...of course not. He’s always been a cold bastard since day 1. In fact, when you met Tsukishima, you and him both got off on the wrong foot. He was being a jerk like he usually was, and his snobbish attitude made you want to talk back as your usual defense mechanism.
Hey, you were not gonna let anyone get away with talking smack, or getting smart with you.
And yet, despite you and him being complete polar opposites, you started dating him. Sure there were days where it was the usual. A banter that would be more of a contest of who can hurt the other (which you always lose). But at the end of the day, you were still rather happy. You were happy with the relationship, happy with the smile he would rarely give you, you were happy with the secret hand holding in his pocket thing he would do on cold nights during the winter time, you were happy he would let you call him ‘Tsuki’ and very rarely let you call him ‘Kei’, and you loved the little affection he would give you during your dates with him.
But now, this happened. Unexpectedly. Out of nowhere.
No matter how hurtful his words were, you knew he had a point. One of his many qualities was pointing out the harsh truth so emotionlessly and truthfully. Sure it’s pessimistic, you will admit that, but you knew how right he was. The relationship wouldn’t have lasted no matter how much you tried to keep it together. And that’s exactly why it was so painful.
[Tsuki..I’m sorry. I’ll do anything to make it better...just please...please Tsuki...let’s not do this...you know I love you...]
You didn’t get a chance to send the text when another text popped up on your screen.
[Look. I’m sorry. But it’s the reality. And..if I were to be completely honest with you, I was growing bored.]
Your throat tightened and your breath began to grow heavy. You wanted to cry so badly, but you just couldn’t. The tears weren’t coming. They were holding themselves back for the finishing blow. And right then, it came.
Out of anger, frustration and an overwhelming sense of sadness, you slammed your phone down on your night stand, held the only pillow you had close to your face and broke down in a loud sobbing fit. You didn’t care if your dorm mates came back early to see you in such a state, you didn’t care about the message you were going to send (you were pretty sure it was left in drafts now), nor did you care about the homework your professor gave you for the night that was sure to take hours to complete.
Thank god it wasn’t due till Friday, and it’s Monday now…god what a horrible Monday this turned out to be.
After much mascara smudging sobbing, you fell asleep for a good nap in hopes to sleep away the overwhelming sadness that made your body feel uncomfortably achy.
“_______? _______! Wake up!”
Your (e/c) eyes slowly revealed themselves from your eyelids and you looked to find your roommates, Yachi and Kiyoko. Seems like they just got out of class and they found you sleeping.
“...M..mm...hey girls….” You said sadly, looking down at your dirty, mascara pillowcase. Looks like you’ll have to take it to the cleaners later before you get ready for bed tonight. That is...if you’ll even take the time to get some shut eye.
Yachi instantly grew worried and brushed away her long strands of blonde hair when she leaned down to look at you closely. Once she got a good look at you, she instantly gasped and looked towards Kiyoko.
“Kiyoko! We got a code purple!! _______ has a look like she was just dumped and we need to do everything we can to make her feel better!”
Ah..Yachi somehow knew what to do to make anyone feel better. After three years of being with the crazy crow family known as the volleyball club of Karasuno, Yachi started growing more confidence in herself...and her hair. In fact, looking back on her hair in first or second year (you couldn’t really remember), she had adorable short blonde hair and had a bit tied in a side pony tail. When you and her first met, she was this shy, sweet, and very scared girl who would always be so easily intimidated. Especially when everyone was incredibly taller than you and her. And now look at her: full of confidence, and leadership skills like no other. Though you and her are way younger than Kiyoko who was also pretty wise in these sorts of situations, it would always be Yachi who would take the leadership role as if she had leadership skills all her life.
You watched Kiyoko nod in understanding and leave your room before looking up at Yachi.
“Don’t worry, we’ll come right back after we get settled in and all comfortable, then you can tell us everything.”
With a small, tired smile, you gave your roommate a curt nod before watching her leave next. You didn’t know why, but the room felt incredibly cold despite it being around the summer time.
Break ups must be hard, especially when it’s something this bad.
“I can’t believe that jerk!! It’s bad enough as it is that he dumped you, but it’s even worse that he dumped you over text which is the worst way to do it!!”
You gave a tiny, sad smile towards Yachi before shrugging and glancing down at the open screen of your phone. Seems like they haven’t seen the draft message you were going to send before Tsukishima broke it off. Good. Yachi would’ve freaked out more if that were to happen.
“Yeah...but he is right about one thing...we would’ve ended anyways no matter what..”
“Come on ________! You can’t be pessimistic like Tsukishima!” Yachi shouted, you could’ve sworn your eye bags cowered in fear from her screaming.
“What else would’ve happened if we went to the same school together?”
Yachi jumped to say something, but quickly stopped herself and slowly closed her lips, now realizing how it would’ve played out if you going to school with him were to be the case. She knew it was a little hypocritical of her to be pessimistic herself, but she had to admit, Tsukishima was right to assume that you and him would fall apart eventually no matter the choices.
“Oh _______..I’m sorry….” Yachi said sadly, slowly reaching over and rubbing your back in a soothing way.
Kiyoko gently wrapped a blanket around your shoulders, and just having your two friends there made you feel so very happy.
“..Ah...thank you girls...where would I be without you…?”
Yachi smiled happily along with Kiyoko who simply gave you one of her small smiles.
“Well, this calls for movies, starbucks, and ice cream to numb the pain! What’d’ya say ________?” Yachi suggested, making you grin.
“As long as I get to go wearing my pajamas and looking like total shit, I’m in.”
And so, both of your friends decided not to leave you out and joined in on the pajama outing to starbucks. A caramel frappuccino would certainly help make your life a little sweeter.
[I broke up with ______…]
[Man, you guys were inseparable, well at least it seemed like it in the training camps before I graduated...what happened?]
[Nothing happened, I just broke it off with her because it just wasn’t working out anymore. I just didn’t feel anything for her anymore.]
Did he really feel that way? Of course he did. From the beginning, he never got too close. He treated you like the sun. Something completely opposite of what he was: the moon.
But despite how incredibly different you and him were, it was like..there was something there, a sort of gravitational pull that kept the two of you together. No matter what sort of attitude he held, you always accepted it. Sure there were moments of stubbornness here and there, but overall, you were still happy for some reason. And that confused him. It confused him to no end on why you wanted so badly to be so close to him despite how far apart he felt towards you.
He just wanted to stay in the middle when it comes to love.
A place that was not too high, or too low, but right in the very middle where he felt indifferent towards the relationship in general.
Yes, there were moments where you made his heart thump against his chest, and you did say some pretty embarrassing things that drove him insane with question. Instead of his first kiss tasting like lemons like his mother once told him, it turned out to be flavorless. But those moments that he would be so encouraged to feel hardly lasted like he hoped they did, and when graduation came, he knew that the relationship was not going to work because he was never interested in you from the very beginning.
Knowing that, brought disappointment.
Leading you on was one thing...but pity dating...was something he considered to be pathetic.
[Heh...I guess I’m pathetic Kuro-senpai..]
[Huh? What do you mean?]
[The thing is, I was never interested in her from the beginning, but for some reason, I didn’t reject her when she offered her feelings towards me. I pity dated her without an explanation...god...that just makes me pathetic doesn’t it?]
[Well..maybe you had a reason for saying yes. You just don’t remember why you went out with her.]
[I remember why.]
[Okay, then what was it?]
[Because she asked-]
No, that’s not it.
[Because she seemed genu-]
No, that’s not it either.
[Because I felt so-]
That’s even worse and not even close.
[You don’t remember the reason do you…?]
[Thought so. Well, hit me up when you do remember. In any case, I have to head to bed. I got class in the morning and I really need to study up for a paper.]
[Thanks for nothing jackass.]
[You’re welcome Tsuki!! ☆ ]
Tsukishima growled at the mocking text message he received in return before lightly tossing his phone on the other side of his bed and turning to his side. But he couldn’t sleep. He was feeling something, and had been feeling it ever since he sent out those break up messages.
And that angered him.